Anyway, my point being that while technically colonization has long since ended, I seriously wonder if it truly has. I am by no means exempt from what I'm about to discuss so please don't take this as me pointing fingers at others because I think like every ex-pat, I've made mistakes and some of them I'm not even aware. I often find ex-pats, including myself, discussing work and referencing things such as, "my nurses" and "my staff." Where do I get off talking about my colleagues in this manner? I don't own them and yet the very simple quote, "There's an awful lot to own in Africa," rings true. We, as ex-pats and outsiders, sometimes do speak in ways that imply ownership without even realizing it and one of the hardest things to remember in our roles here is that we are guests, we will eventually leave, and we own absolutely nothing. There has been some disagreement among the USI faculty about the ownership of our materials. Who owns the lectures I've written? Me? My US Institution? The Rwandan Ministery of Health? The University of Rwanda? I have no idea, but chances are, it's not me. I'm low woman on the totem pole.
I'm not sure why people adopt this form of ownership in their speech. Do I feel entitled to it? Maybe it's just a way we speak in the US and now applying it to a different context and culture I realize how offensive it is. I have no idea really, but I do actively attempt to be more aware of my pattern of speech than I ever was before.
Today is our mid year meeting, which has been modified to be a monitoring and evaluation presentation that has been interesting. The first thing they presented was data from last year about the twinning model of the HRH program. The twinning model is rather unique to this program and has many successes and challenges and even failures just as you see in any program global or domestic.
The point of the twinning model is to provide skills transfer to ensure the sustainability of the knowledge we as USI Faculty are sharing. Capacity building is hard. Practices that I think are important are not necessarily the priorities of the Rwandans and if I don't see the point in some of the practices, they certainly don't see the point in almost all of mine. The results of the survey showed varying levels of satisfaction in the program, but the underlying message is that everyone feels as though we need more time with our twins. I was impressed that the USI Faculty and Rwandans both picked this as an issue. It's almost impossible to find 5 hours during my week with my twin because he has so many responsibilities.
The other interesting tidbit was that those USI Faculty who have the least international experience (<1 month) have the highest level of job satisfaction. I have my own theories on why this unexpected result is what it is. Maybe because those who have had more overseas experience perhaps are used to calling more of the shots. This program isn't about USI Faculty coming in and fixing everything to how we want it to be; it's about us helping the Rwandan's determine what they want to change and allowing them to take ownership of these changes. I believe I am here in a supporting role. My twin first said way back at the beginning of my time here, "What are your goals?" And my response was, "Nope! What are your goals? Because my goals are to support yours." Maybe newbies to work of this kind are more motivated and optimistic. Or perhaps the majority of experience abroad is in a less hierarchical program that gives the control to the ex-pat. I'm not sure. But today has been interesting with all sorts of thoughts running through my head.
Lessons Learned:
1) Words have different meanings and consequences in different cultures/contexts.
2) I am far from perfect and should strive everyday to be the best version of myself... Always difficult with my Irish-Italian temper (thank you heritage).
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